I can text with my tongue
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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