forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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