no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
