he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
