Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
