he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
