drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
