you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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