Sober January is a disaster.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
