She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
