Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
