I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
