remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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