tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
