the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
