Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
