how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
