I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
