so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
