Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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