I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
