My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
