I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize