My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The struggles of a small town man whore
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
