is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
