What a fucking waste of an outfit
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I supernannyed him into submission
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
