I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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