Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
