I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
