they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
