I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
