Someone shit on the floor
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
