She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
