If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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