The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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