First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
