Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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