I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
