I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
