farters have to be the big spoon...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
