Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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