That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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