the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
