Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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