I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
