and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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