dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
