Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
