I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
