I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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