at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
