Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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