i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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