I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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