3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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