You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
