When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
