I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
