White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
