Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
