And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Soap is not a condiment
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
