thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
