I'm going to jail i love you
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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